i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
