the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
