It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
