He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
