so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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