Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
