so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
