what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
