She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
