I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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