Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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