I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just crazy horny about you
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
