I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am available for nakedness
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
