just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
