This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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