I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize