its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize