I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Come on in and take your pants off
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