Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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