I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
