I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
