THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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