my vag is so smooth its legendary
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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