called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
only you would photoshop your dick
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
