So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
