i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
