Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
