Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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