You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
