in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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