she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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