you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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