i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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