how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize