when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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