i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's blow job season.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize