her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize