Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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