Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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