if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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