I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
