Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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