Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
