i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize