NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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