I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
