i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize