I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
false alarm, still single
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