We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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