wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
