trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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