this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
