Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
