I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
