You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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