i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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