We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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