I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
