i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
