somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
